Monday, 12 September 2011

Wholly ReWrit FlashJezus

  • What if the Bible is a muddled account of an original true message that
    our ancestors came by spaceship from a lush, fertile Planet Eden in
    Galaxy Alphak Omegad. The crew members told their children of 'The
    Fathers in the heavens' who had sent them and how their spacecraft fell
    from heaven to this less hospitable planet. The crash landing destroyed their memory banks and so they lost the advanced knowledge. Jesus was sent from Planet
    Eden, in another Spacecraft [Matt 2v2], to try to educate people to
    improve their life on earth but his message of scientific method & knowledge(germ theory-do
    wash you hands[contra Mk7]) & technology was rejected, they tried to kill him
    but he got teleported back up just in time[Acts 1v9]. The people didn't
    like the new ,unfamiliar ideas they didn't understand & instead
    wrote their old, primitive, familiar sayings & a garbled account of
    their meeting with FlashJesus the  outer spaceman.

        'Our Fathers' have sent out scout craft which accidently cause the crop circles. The asteroid which has been observed approaching Earth, this autumn 2011, is actually the mothership. On board commander FlashJesus, the far out spaceman, is finalizing plans for the apocalypse.  They are  ready to beam up the chosen ones in 2012 [Those who love science & reason & acting ethically (not those who prioritise brutal bronze-iron age, monkey brained,human sacrifice based, magic texts over care & compassion)]. Then they will use their phasors to do Amadragedon.
        You will note several major snags to this hypothesis. Is it more unlikely than orthodoxy ?
    apologetics : apparent problems & contradictions harmonized :
    1Flash Jesus can still be alive because he travelled at lightspeed or maybe it's Buck Jezeus his great grandson.
    2 Flash Jesus the spaceman makes more sense of the healings. He didn't have supernatural powers to cure all illness, just a first aid kit. He gave blind man of John9v6 Retinax5 & rubbed Kolto in his eyes. He gave 'dead' widows son of Luke 7v14 Cordrazine & Neodextraline solution He gave 'lepers' Mark 1v40 Felicium[wiki list of fictional medicine & drugs]
    3 How come animal life on Earth is so similar to humans genetically? Maybe the colonization pod which brought first humans was called Urk 1 & had cryogenically frozen embryos of all animal species. Why did they bother with flies? The insects & viruses & bacteria evolved here separately
    4 As Lockley pointed out, Pauls experience of Jesus could have been a holographic message
    5 The darkness when they tried to kill FlashJesus was cause his spacecraft was overhead & blocked out sunlight
    6 After Flash Jesus had been teleported up, he was in pretty poor shape but the on board medics fired everything at him, Neodextraline, Inopprovaline, Cordrazine, Masiform D. He felt better after a day or two and thought he'd better just teleport back down to say goodbye. He met disciples & beckoned them ,' I have a very important message- human sacrifice isn't required,it is never going to do any good, there are no gods to save us from stuff'. Unfortunately when they eventually found someone to write it, it got written ' It is very important to have a human sacrifice, god requires it to save us from sin '

No comments:

Post a Comment