ReWrit John 19v32
The death of Jesus,
in the manner of the Black knight from Monty Python's, " Holy Grail "
Because the Jews wanted the men on the crosses to be dead before the Sabbath they asked Pilate to hurry it up a bit. So Pilate gave the nod to the soldiers and one went with a bardiche and mocked Jesus, " You saved others, save yourself "
" None shall pass the bridge to life unless they pass by me ", said Jesus
And the soldier chopped off Jesus right leg.
" Oh, that was rather sore, but only a flesh wound " said Jesus, very reservedly, " that was below the belt but I forgive you "
Then another soldier struck off Jesus left leg with a halberd.
" How excruciatingly painful " exclaimed Jesus politely as he hung from only his arms and found it a wee bit more difficult to breathe
Then another soldier struck off Jesus head with a pollaxe and it fell to the ground
" How awfully painful ", shrieked Jesus, " but I am invincible, I will pray for you, have you no conscience ? "
" I thought cutting your head off would put you out of your misery " said the soldier apologetically, " I am sore amazed that you are still alive, truly you are a son of God "
And Jesus replied, very serenely, " You know not what you do. Just wait, for in nearly 2.25 days time you will see me all joined back together in my resurrection body before I disappear back to the 7th dimensional universe to be with the living God "
And all who listened thought, either we are hallucinating or this is evidence of a supernatural realm, for talking heads are outwith our usual experience of life.