Saturday, 5 October 2013

Ships log, star date unknown

Actually going by the track record of the Bible as evidence, Jesus record keeping abilities would be at best shambolic.
There is no evidence that Jesus could do any more than scribble in the sand. No one claimed it. Bit odd that someone who was later claimed as the Word of God should be so disinterested in written records.
Would have expected the Bible to be meticulous from a 'perfect one'
In fact with this in mind I find the Bible has become strangely comforting - its comforting to know that I'm not the only one who keeps such an incomplete, jumbled record of my life history, people I've met, major events etc. In this respect I am on a par with God.
My guess is that Jesus won't know who is who from his lamb's book of life. He maybe started out with good intentions, maybe got as far as writing the heading & drawing up a few categories but probably petered out soon after that. Well who knows, maybe like your car log book or work safety records, he maybe got to the end of the year and tried to manufacture a whole lot of entries to make it look like he had tried. So don't be offended if you get there after spending your life cleaning the church & fixing its garden & handing out leaflets and then find he tells you your name isn't found in his book of life and since he can't tell you from Adam it's down the chute you go. Maybe you could quip that you are a son of adam or son of man, might be a winner ?
PS Is it only Revelation that has the idea of a lamb's book of life ? It may be a development from Malachai 3v16 ?
Myth 7 : Jesus never changes
You know how it is when you write some opinions down and then when you read them again after a decade you just find them embarrassing? People travel through the debates. So I expect that if Jesus was to return & read the Bible it would be like, " Oh my God, did I ever write that nonsense? Ho ho ha, hope no one took that seriously, after all it is for everyone to make their own mind up about stuff, in any case I don't remember writing much so maybe someone else has been forging in my name ? "
Maybe on Jesus return he will get his time dial twisted and end up meeting his former self going backwards on the shores of Lake Tiberias . Then there will be an almighty humdinger of a quarrel about what is truth and which way is life, one will say left and the other right, one will appeal to the Holy spirit and the other to the Father , so it will be a draw, then they will have to pull a wild card - Satan - to try to decide, and it will be like, " Get thee behind me Satan ", " No Get thee behind me Satan " , " No me ", " No my turn " in an unending Armaggedon wrestle of ad hominem and threats of hell fire..
Admittedly this idea is a bit far fetched. If you could go back in time you would be more likely to discover a whole sequence of anonymous priests inventing Jesus stories. Maybe one of the playwrights suffered writers block on the wandering Jewish preacher man series and decided just have him killed off, but then a later playwright decided he could do more with it so wrote him coming back again ? As it happens I was at a garage sale the other day and scooped some Jesus gospels that look like the genuine article. He departed on his return trip at the appointed time as promised, its just that he has landed on Earth in 3013 and is stuck there wondering how to get back a millennium. There are no intelligent humans around cause they were out voted by the pessimists who turned their back on nuclear power & so everyone died out.
Finally, if you remember a while back there was a rumour going around that if you played Iron Maiden 1983 record 'Piece of mind' backwards then you would hear a sinister message ? Well the Bible according to orthodox christianity interpretation is in fact the backwards playing of the record - you are hearing the sinister message. If you played the Bible the correct direction you would hear, " There probably is no supernatural realm or cosmic gods, when you are dead it is the end, the stories in the Bible are mostly fiction with a few grains of reality "
Maybe once you have stared at the prospect of an eternal hell then the more likely reality of oblivion becomes strangely comforting too ? Break off your mental chains: Read the whole history of the debates
Iron Maiden , " Still Life " [ Piece of mind track 6 ]

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