Jesus 'n' Mo hid the chocolates from yo
"Who of you would give your son a snake when he asked for fish ?" - God - Matt 7v10 Vs Acts 10v12
THE DARK CHOCOLATELESS AGES
Going for the messages.
Acts 10v9-17 has a story about Peter's vision in which the O.T. taboos on eating certain animals are negated. Well pork might be a welcome addition to the diet but as for the reptiles/snake - who is "god" kidding. I'd rather be vegetarian. However when you think of all the delicious New World foods that could have been shown in the vision it makes god's behaviour look quite dastardly.
"god" could have shown Peter; chocolate, potato chips & tomato sauce, Pumpkin pie & maple syrup, popcorn etc and told him, " Go, sail over the pond with the gospel and I will give you these treats as a reward "
Neither the Bible or Koran has any knowledge of the New World or its foods. Religion is unable to generate new information about reality but warps ideas already common in the cultural milieu into its scriptures. Religious scriptures demonstrate creativity unbounded by reality - fantasies- but that creativity is very much constrained by preceding dogmas.
Acts 10v9- " Peter fell into a trance. He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by it's four corners. It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles of the earth and birds of the air " Then a voice told him, " Get up, Peter, Kill and eat "
Rewrit: And Peter replied, " Well there was never any sound health & safety reason to put a taboo on eating pork ( that was a taboo adopted from the ancient Egyptian superstitions ) as long as the pork was within its sell by date, well cooked, had been butchered in hygienic conditions & not suffering from disease but as for the other animals; you can go to hell if you expect me to eat snakes, lizards, spiders, badger, hedgehog, wolf, rat etc and it would be better for bio-diversity to leave most of the species of birds capable of sustained flight alone. You don't want the people of Malta getting into bad habits of shooting the swifts, warblers & turtle doves. Aren't there some better things in the world to eat that we haven't discovered yet ? In any case I'm quite disappointed that you haven't lifted the Lev 11v9 taboo on lobster, crab, fur seals and whales (though I expect over fishing of these could be a problem in the distant future ) After all won't Matt 7v10 be written in a few decades time, " Which of you, if his son asks for a fish will give him a snake ? If you then know how to give good gifts to your children, does that mean that god's behaviour is worse than yours if he gives you snake ? And what if he gave you locusts instead of chocolate ?" "
Note Acts 11v6 has Peter add wild beasts to the list of things he saw on the sheet despite having been shown it three times ( Acts 10v16 ) The disciples didn't score highly on observation, or IQ for that matter.
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