Parody on Genesis 2v7. Eve was created first, on the eve of Adam

My parody ReWrit on Genesis 2v7

In the beginning the first Homo sapiens God created was Eve. God saw that she was very beautiful and fell in love with her, one thing led to another but to cut a long story short they had a fling. Nine months later Adam was born. God excused himself by saying, "Well at least it saved me from having to do surgery and from now on Adam will have to pander to woman's every whim in order to make up for my sin of emission"
This explains why all men are bastards who have delusions of grandeur thinking they are God's gift to the world when in fact they are the result of a moment of madness.
Also it means that women are damn right when they say, "For God's sake will you do some house work around here"
Unless men do what women tell them to do then God will be very angry with them.
This myth also explains why Eve was called eve - because she was created on the eve of Adam
And Adam called Eve, "Womban" because she had a womb from which the lowly animal Adam was born

The term "all men are bastards" is a colloquialism / slang for, " Men have a tendency to do things which women find annoying, like not behaving as their better half would like; expecting love without financial commitment etc"



Parody on Iron Maiden track, "Sign of the cross" from their X factor album

Eleven religiously deluded men, silhouettes looming against the sky One in front with a cross held high, come to speak his lies anyway
Standing alone in the wind and rain feeling calm, my fears have subsided Sensing the change in the tide again brought by the storm that is brewing Feeling no anxiety as I remember the reasons to doubt the things I once believed Now that science & reason has passed the test nothing to do but await what is coming Why then fear 'God' ? No harm befalls me when I don't believe in the supernatural. By Richard Dawkins I am blessed with an inner strength, some they would call it atheism I face this like Carl Sagan saying extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence Praying to a God who isn't there won't help me. I feel the freedom start to rise They'll be saying their prayers when troubles come But I won't fret my way through life, there's no judgement day May the guilty weep when that law man comes, may the law prevent & prevail, take them away to jail The sign of the cross; the name of the fraud, clouded over the sky, the sigh of the cross There will be no cosmic apocalypse, it was out of date 1900 years ago, there will be no immortality Life evolved by natural selection, not magical creator, no God, so at death I will rest The sign of the double helix, the fact of evolution on an 4.5 billion year old sphere, a universe with billions of galaxies, a heliocentric solar system Eleven saintly deluded men come to speak their lies anyway

Original:
Eleven saintly shrouded men silhouettes stand against the sky One in front with a cross held high come to wash my sins awayStanding alone in the wind and rain feeling the fear that is growing Sensing the change in the tide again brought by the storm that is brewing Feel the anxiety hold off the fear some of the doubts in the things you believe Now that your faith will be put to the test nothing to do but await what is comingWhy then is God still protecting me even when I don't deserve it Thought I am blessed with an inner strength some they would call it a penance Why am I meant to face this alone asking the question time and again Praying to God won't keep me alive inside my head feel the fear start to riseThey'll be saying their prayers when the moment comes there'll be penance to pay when it's judgement day And the guilty will bleed when that moment comes they'll be coming to claim, take your soul away The sign of the cross the name of the rose, a fire in the sky the sign of the crossThey'll be coming to bring the eternal flame they'll be bringing us all immortality Holding communion so the world be blessed my creator, my God will lay my soul to rest The sign of the cross the name of the rose, a fire in the sky the sign of the crossLost the love of heaven above chose the lust of the earth below Eleven saintly shrouded men came to wash my sins away